Stinky Butts

This blog I am sure my wife will appreciate. When you see her, ask her about her daily calendar.

Butt I regress. Something strange happened to me last week when I was doing a 5 a.m. run on the treadmill at the gym. I was running along, minding my own business when it hit me. That smell. No, not someone sweating. Not even perfume or body order. Rather, it was the smell of a nasty fart.

I looked around, helplessly, hoping no one thought it was me. It WASN'T me. There was an older gentleman, two treadmills down, power walking. With no other "culprits" around, it had to be him. The smell was awful. What was I supposed to do, stop breathing while running? I worked my way through the purple haze and finished the run.

Then, it happened again. I was running on the treadmill and a different person decided to relieve themselves of the ever growing gas bubble. Luckily, this time, I didn't smell it. However, the gentleman next to the "farter" proceeded to fan the area with his towel. They both laughed it off, butt it was a little odd to see.

Now, I like to toot my own horn, butt there is a place and time for everything. If I have to get up early to workout, I always leave time to make a deposit in an effort to ease others of my impending pain. I have been in yoga classes, spin classes and in the weight room when someone decides to release an air biscuit. Never has it been enjoyable, butt I understand s*it happens.

Having done many races and participated in a plethora of games, my stomach has been through it all. I now have tactics to (hopefully) eliminate stomach issues and some other problems that may occur. It is never fun having an upset stomach while trying to ride the bike or doing a run. This, actually, is one of my biggest fears while racing. Butt, it hasn't stopped me yet.

I guess my point is simple, it you need to rip one, do it away from others. Leave the area. Go outside. Head to the bathroom. No one wants to smell it, let alone hear it. I agree that passing gas can be enjoyable and even funny at times. Butt, adding the smell to an already stinky area is a recipe for disaster.

In closing, do what you need to do. Butt if you do, do it with pride and own up to it!!!

Just for fun